The security that never was

I am alone.
That is painstakingly obvious in this day and age. Sometimes I would like to think that there is always someone there for me.. some one to talk to and be there. There isn't. Damien tries but how available are you if you are in bloody England?!? Not very. I believe in him and what he does but right now I need someone who is there for me every part of my life which is much but he understands. Kiara needed the same thing and when she left him to be alone, that was when she kinda.. died. I know that he doesn't want the same thing to happen to me. If he leaves me alone for too long. I think he still finds himself at fault for Kiara's death although he had nothing to do with it. Kiara was hit by a car by a drunken driver on her way back to their flat. Kiara had internal bleeding and she died. When Damien called me to tell me, I think that was the first time in a long time that I had heard Damien cry. The last time he had cried was when he found out that Jaime wasn't his father and the truth behind his mother. I know that he is having a hard time right now. Even harder than me. A couple nights ago I found a bunch of my confirmation letters, the letters that people had sent me for when I was confirmed. Damien's actually brought me to tears. This one section haunts me.
"... when worse comes to worse... when love comes to love.. i will be there for you till the very end. I love you Sierra Catherine and you are the reason I am who I am and why I am so happy..."
I cried and I cried. How could he say something like that when I have not been as amazing of a friend to him. And as I look now at the last couple of weeks, I haven't been a friend to Damien, let alone a best friend. I have a lot on my mind but I need to help him more than myself. After all he has done for me... he needs me right now. Like who was there when Chris broke my heart.. Damien. Who was there when my aunt died.. Damien. Who was there when nothing made sense and I almost went suicidal.. Damien. So now that his girlfriend is gone... his dad is not is dad... everything.. is just not right.. he needs me.. and I am going to be there for him =]
peace out,
sierra catherine.